Jeff Cutler’s Bowl of Cheese

Lots of my posts here are rants. You might have gotten that impression by either reading some past entries or by looking at the description of this blog where it says, “Jeff Cutler’s Bowl of Cheese – Not so gentle ramblings about the inane and insane.” But if you missed that, the stuff here is supposed to get your blood moving and make you feel alive. You’re welcome.

Now on to my latest freak out. Today I had lunch at the Westin Waterfront Hotel. I ate at City Bar because the folks at MJ O’Connor’s had staffed their host station with inept, inconsiderate and ill-mannered teenagers. I have nothing against teens – except maybe their acne and attitude and general gangly, uninformed nature – so I was very open-minded when I approached the host stand looking for a table.

After receiving one of those table-buzzer devices and being informed that it would be fifteen minutes until a table was ready, I wandered around the hotel lobby for a bit. Nearly eight minutes later I went up to the gaggle of idiot hostesses and asked how much longer. I showed them my table vibrator and they looked it up on their list. All three of them practically in unison told me that it shouldn’t be much longer.

“Just about 15 minutes,” they said.

WHAT THE HECK?!! That was actually the same amount of time I had been told when I started this restaurant visit. So, here are my questions for the restaurant or you, dear readers (leave your answers in the comments here or send them to MJ O’Connor’s)…

1 – Does it really take three teenagers to manage the lunch rush at your restaurant? Especially when two of the three avoid eye contact and don’t interact with customers and are just standing there to fold napkins and shuffle menus?

2 – Have you considered training any of these kids so they know how to read a clock and realize that 15 minutes minus eight minutes does not equal 15 minutes?

3 – Would you consider using Textaurant or some other product so that people waiting for tables won’t get so fed up with waiting for tables while watching extra bodies stand around your seating area?

4 – How many visits will I have to make before I’ve taken all your vibrating table alert devices and put them in mailboxes all over the city – just to get your attention that the front of the house needs some reworking?

5 – Has anyone told the host staff to suggest diners go over to City Bar if they can’t wait a long time for a table? That’s where we ate and found out they serve off the same menu as MJ O’Connor’s.

I shake my head and wag my finger. If money was growing on the trees around me, I wouldn’t be so fussy. But if I’m gonna spend $13 for Bangers and Mash, I feel that the people seating me, serving me and providing my dining experience should put in some effort to make it memorable in a good way.

Feel free to share your best or worst recent restaurant visit.

Not that there’s any doubt that various charitable and social change organizations are cuckoo bananas, but I’ve come to the realization that the kids recruited to work for these groups fall into the significantly dumb realm. While this might be a feature of anyone in the 19-25 range, I suspect the kids working for companies like Greenpeace are severely afflicted.

Also see this story in the Guardian in the UK.

As shown in this photo from the Guardian story, gas pumps in the UK had to be locked up because Greenpeace activists were taking the nozzles off of pumps to bring attention the spill in the Gulf of Mexico. Here’s what I think of that……

1 – It might make people aware of the spill IF THEY HAVE JUST COME OUT OF A CAVE and didn’t know about the spill

2 – It’s totally unsafe and if a pump were authorized by mistake, gasoline would then spill all over the ground at the station causing a local spill that would have a pretty severe environmental and safety issue. I’m guessing Greenpeace would probably protest that too, but I don’t know how.

3 – Moves like this don’t really hurt BP – as I’ve pointed out in other blog posts – they only injure the owner or lessor of the station. This move doesn’t get corporate attention or affect their activities or attitude. Other than make them angry at extremists and cause them to spend more money on securing their pumps. Money that they ARE currently spending to clean up the spill in the Gulf.

4 – When BP finally throws in the towel, it won’t matter how much stomping and whining the folks at Greenpeace do, there will be no organization and no money to remedy the spill in the Gulf. Further action by Greenpeace only moves the company closer to that edge.

5 – And when informed of these factors, whipper snappers from Greenpeace just say, “well, we’re just getting the message out.” What message? That you’re idiots who drank the Kool-Aid and haven’t taken any time to look at the more complicated issues of life in 2010?

Do you wonder why I frequently brush past these kids, as they stand on the sidewalk with a clipboard in their hands? I don’t. And I also feel much better about my standard comment to them.

I usually say, “I hate this planet, call me when you colonize Mars.” It’s about as mature as the kids who believe blindly in Greenpeace’s message and approach, but I never said I was a grown-up.

What’s your take on extremism? On social causes? On the BP oil spill? Would love to hear your POV. Thanks.

I’m in the Gulf of Mexico. Not physically in the Gulf waters – for that would be idiocy – but in the region we like to call the deep south. I’m spending two weeks reporting on the BP Oil Spill in the Gulf of Mexico for a group called EDR and another group called CBS. But the group I’d really like to be reporting for is the Discovery Channel.

You know why?

Because it’s SHARK WEEK and everything they do this week is about wiping those horrid creatures off the face of the Earth.

OK. I know that’s not really true. And I know – or have heard – that it’s pretty unlikely that a shark will ever bite me, especially if I remain so deadly afraid of the big fishes that I let nary a toe into oceans, seas, bays, bayous and other waterways that might harbor these creatures.

I have also heard – and seen – that shark fishing is fun. In fact, while doing some of the reporting down here I talked with a guy named Tom Steber who runs a sport-fishing business. He takes people into the Gulf to catch really big fish. I got him on video to tell me that sharks are taking over the world and the Discovery Channel has it all wrong. OK, that’s another fib. Tom was fantastic and gave me some really good info on sharks and shark week and the oil spill. Give this a look and listen.

[THIS WAS POSTED ON MY 2010 TOUR de FRANCE BLOG AS WELL - FollowTheTour.com]

Can you say absent? Or abandon? Well, I didn’t quite abandon the 2010 Tour de France but I have taken a long ride in the SAG wagon. You see, the combination of Lance’s diminishing chances for success along with a slew of content-creation projects have had me on the ropes.

Similar to the thousands of miles the peleton has traveled this year, I’m doing the same in the Gulf of Mexico for the next couple weeks. I’m actually watching the 52KM Time Trial from the seatback monitor on JetBlue Flight 401 to New Orleans.

As I type this, both Lance and Levi have finished and all the riders are on the road. Contador sits eight seconds ahead of Schleck after yesterday’s stage and today will tell what happens.

*I have two hours left in my flight, so I suspect I’ll be able to see the end of the stage before I land but this won’t get posted until Saturday afternoon.

What are my thoughts on the 2010 Tour? I’m queasy. I don’t like the fact that Contador is brash and perhaps uncouth when it comes to etiquette. I hate the fact that a cycling hero of mine (and presumably a great many other folks) is going out without a podium visit, looking human. And I wonder if going to Paris every other year will hold the same intrigue for me as it has in the past.

Similar to my baseball addiction of the early 1980s, cycling has been my drug of choice since 1998 or so. But as with our national pastime, I’m starting to not recognize a lot of the player names. George Hincapie might not ride next year. Cadel Evans might retire. Lance is done.

Further, what happens to the cycling opportunities I once chased? Without a lightning rod in the race light Lance, how will Versus maintain its advertising dollars and revenue. People tune in to see US riders. There are some left but few contenders.

Conversely, I would be thrilled to be able to follow the tour on a scooter around all of France. And in doing so not have to fight the crowds that have polluted the last ten years of the race. Ugly Americans being fat on international TV isn’t helping our brand as polite visitors who are there to enjoy a century-old sporting event.

Without competition for hotels and resources, I’ll likely be able to enjoy the Tour as never before. And perhaps bring you readers a more intriguing and fun recount of the race.

Melancholy, they name is the United States’ flirtation with cycling.

Stage 20 is tomorrow. Stage 19 still has about 40 minutes to go. At the end of today we’ll know how the podium looks. I hope Contador’s chain gets stuck for nine seconds and both he and Schleck finish today’s stage with the same stage time.

That would mean tomorrow as they ride into France, Contador would have to decide whether decorum or greed and the spotlight are his driving forces. Wouldn’t it be cool to see Schleck ahead by one second starting tomorrow’s final stage?

My fingers are crossed for a good result.

Thoughts?

The soapbox isn’t really out of the basement and I’m not shouting from atop it. Mostly because the people who would hear me don’t care much about scooterists’ rights and it’s much too hot on this 5th of July to be standing out in the hot sun proclaiming injustices.

A day after Independence Day, there was a post in the Boston Globe that talked about how the Massachusetts Registry of Motor Vehicles was going to start cracking down on scooter owners who improperly register their vehicles. Isn’t this a wildly ridiculous extension of the “ignorance of the law is no defense” clause?

I’d say so, mostly because a first-time scooter owner often knows less about the state regulations governing these odd little vehicles than do the folks at the registry, the traffic department employees, the mayor of Boston and even the local news reporters. Essentially, the government is now holding scooter buyers to a higher standard than they are their own employees.

Let me explain the regulations as I understand them…

A moped is a motorized two-wheeled vehicle that can attain speeds up to 30MPH and has an engine size smaller than 50cc in volume. This vehicle needs a registration sticker, but does not need a plate and does not need to be insured. It can be parked pretty much wherever a bike can be parked.

A scooter is a motorized two-wheeled vehicle that can attain speeds between 30 and 40MPH and has an engine size smaller than 50cc in volume. This vehicle now needs an LU plate, needs to be insured, and technically cannot be parked legally on the sidewalk.

A motorcycle is a motorized two-wheeled vehicle with an engine size 50cc and above. It doesn’t matter if this vehicle is as small as a moped or if it can only travel at 14MPH. It needs a plate, it needs insurance and it cannot be parked on the sidewalk.

For all of these vehicles, you need a driver’s license to operate them. (Remember, this is my understanding – you might NOT need a license for the moped.)

And here is my mini rant about the news handed down today and the existing attitude toward scooters/mopeds/motorcycles in this state…

Parking rules should be based on physical size of a vehicle, not its engine size. When did we decide that two-wheeled vehicles should be governed based on engine volume? If we had the same rules for cars, then four-cylinder, six-cylinder and eight-cylinder cars would all be treated differently. My scooter (a 125cc engine) is smaller than most 50cc engine scoots, yet it must take up an entire parking space. Dumb.

People who buy vehicles shouldn’t be held to a higher knowledge standard than the folks at the AGENCY TASKED WITH ISSUING REGISTRATIONS!! If the person behind the counter at the Registry of Motor Vehicles tells me my vehicle needs a certain type of plate, I believe them. Their job is to know the law. Their job is to know the vehicle and what registration it needs. If they don’t, they should be fired and replaced with folks who DO know the law. This is the same as holding a car owner responsible for knowing all the regulations pertaining to their vehicle. Let’s not be classist when it comes to vehicle registration. Require the Registry personnel to do their job. Dumber.

Find a way to get all state agencies on the same page with enforcement and registration issues. Right now you can park a scooter anywhere on a sidewalk in Boston without fear of a ticket. If you get one, the parking department has PROMISED that it will be dismissed if you fight it. Your scooter can be ANY size and can have ANY plate. (This is kinda dumb – see my size rant in the first bullet.) If you do the same thing in Cambridge, you will get a ticket but you can also fight it and win. And in Somerville it depends on the parking person on duty. Further, if you stop five different meter people you’ll probably get five different stories. The guy I stopped in the BTD truck the other day on Newbury Street told me he hadn’t even heard about the motorcycle meters going into effect in the Back Bay (and these were slated to be in place by July 1).

Finally, hop onto a scooter for a day so you can empathize with owners/operators. Seriously. See how great it is to drive one in the city. See how fantastic it is to get 90-100MPG and have a place to park anywhere you go. Also take a minute to understand that these small vehicles are prone to theft and need to be locked to something – so street hardware and dedicated two-wheel parking zones are necessary. This is the future and Europe has already embraced it. Saves time, saves petroleum, saves money, saves hassles. Get on the stick Boston and Massachusetts – why not embrace something smart for a change instead of focusing on revenue and favors for political friends?

Take a look at some photos and take a minute to share your comments. I’d like to know how automobile drivers feel about scooters – honestly. *Bear in mind, that so many people don’t realize that scooterists need to obey the same traffic laws as everyone else, that there are plenty of scoot riders who buzz around and create a hazard on the roads. I would TOTALLY support increased enforcement of traffic laws for all drivers – cars, scoots and bicyclists (oh, yes, they have to obey traffic laws, too).

What’s your take?