Borderless conversations – a Twitter dynamic?
A tweet (a note on Twitter) just came in about a guy who happened upon his wife’s body laying on the floor of their home.
Seemingly while giving her CPR, he was tweeting about the event on Twitter. See the sidebar on the left.
Where do the boundaries begin and end now that we’re ensconced in a lifestyle that is built on oversharing and building intimate relationships with avatars and 140-character interactions?
I’m not trying to be callous here, and the guy did comment that he’d not be online for a while, but if you or I found a loved one dead on the carpet wouldn’t we focus on the ‘real’ people in our lives before typing in a broadcast text message?
With just a basic knowledge of psychology from a college course and a series of $15 checks paid to a shrink a few years ago, I can only surmise that this fellow’s support network is actually a network. One built on wires and servers and people he only knew via usernames and profiles online.
While it’s sad, there’s also a redeeming quality to the strength of relationships built on content and not on personality. Immediately after his tweets came through, people had organized fundraisers and donation paths to help this guy out.
Would we do the same for the guy next door who lost his wife? Would we even make the effort to go downtown to get a Hallmark card and drop it in his box?
On the other hand, just by refreshing the twitter page I saw that his plight had been scrubbed from the front page – replaced by weekend tweet-up plans and new videos on YouTube.
Perhaps it’s the ease with which we can click a paypal donation box or send off our own 140-character condolence that makes Web2.0 a compassionate construct. Or maybe it’s just enough distance that we can care without getting too involved.
I’m not sending any money to Burma or to China, but those aren’t my people. This poor sap is right here in the United States. He’s an aspiring writer and he likes science fiction. There’s a whole bucket of similarities between him and me.
Except I haven’t found my wife dead on the floor.
Apart from that, we’re the same guy – at least in the eyes of the hundreds of people who follow our tweets. And read our profiles. And digitally thumb through our blogs.
So will I give him money? Maybe. Maybe not. But that’s also the beauty of Web2.0. There’s a lot less physical accountability. If the perception is that you care, it doesn’t matter if you don’t.
I’m invested in his survival and his coping with this tragedy. But maybe only because he’s now become interesting. I bet this one event does more to boost his followers than any blog post, published book or other event could have…short of his own death.
That’s also saying something about where our values are headed in this Web2.0 world.
More to come…If you’re just reading for the first time, subscribe to my RSS feed.
May 12th, 2008 at 4:41 pm
As of 4:40PM EST, the collection page had gathered nearly $1000 for this guy. Twitter has some power. But I think it’s also the people retweeting the story. If he hadn’t gotten noticed by a few ‘connected’ people, the story would have vanished long before I saw it.
I guess also, that my asking for a spot of tea donation is a little lame. But if you do donate it will give me something to drink while I read about other notable events online.
May 12th, 2008 at 8:08 pm
[...] Bowl of Cheese by Jeff Cutler » Blog Archive » Borderless conversations – a Twitter Dynamic? — Nice thought piece about the Twitter phenomenon. Worth reading in its entirety. He brings up the issue of oversharing which is a concept in itself. Why do some people need to overshare? I use Twitter as a resource and a annex to the blog. Others use it mostly to express everything they are personally doing. This seems to stem, I think, from the self-esteem movement. The sociology around us cannot be explored enough! Seemingly while giving her CPR, he was tweeting about the event on Twitter. See the sidebar on the left. [...]
May 12th, 2008 at 11:19 pm
Oh look: http://bostonnewsnet.com/
May 12th, 2008 at 11:37 pm
You know, I hear what you’re saying, but then I had a thought.
In C.A.’s defense, it looks like he did all he could, then the medics came, took her away and probably declared her dead and took her away, leaving him there, alone, with a whopper of an emotional situation to deal with. I’d be willing to bet that even between phone calls to friends, family, and the like, the simplicity of getting support from his Twitter network was all too easy to approach.
When you’re going thru a hardship, ANY kind of hardship really, a kind voice works wonders.
I’ve been in spots where I was enraged, hurt, frustrated, etc. and by simply throwing it out to my twitwork and getting a word or two of encouragement in return, its done wonders.
Its often not overly personal, nor does it feel as good as a hug from your spouse, but the return is not insignificant. It can often be the little nudge you need to push on.
Perhaps its as simple as this: Picture a man (or woman) standing in the middle of a field in pain, confusion or frustration, looking up at the sky and shouting “WHY?!?” and waiting for an answer.
Now, picture a man (or woman) sitting at their computer with Twitter open, in pain, confusion or frustration, and very emotionally typing “WHY?!?”. There’s very little wait for an answer. In fact, an entire discussion may form. With a website or blog and a donation jar to boot.
Again, its not as deep as a relationship with a real person can be, but its certainly something. And its quick.
Good article, Jeff. Nice observations.
-Chris Wilson
@Aithene
May 13th, 2008 at 3:42 am
[...] conversations – a Twitter Dynamic? http://bowlofcheese.com/?p=1072, a post about how information is used and shared on Twitter. [...]
May 13th, 2008 at 11:19 am
I know without a doubt when I read the posts I was touched like none other I have ever read.
However, in the cold light of a new day… It’s a terrible statement on today’s culture but has this been fact checked by anyone else? It would be a horrible prank, but the whole thing seems that it could be a little questionable.
Chris
May 13th, 2008 at 1:13 pm
The day of my mother-in-law’s funeral I tweeted about it, and got many kind and comforting tweets back.
May 13th, 2008 at 1:35 pm
Steve,
I’m certainly not making bones about the way people share or inform others of their grief. And I’m definitely amazed at how quickly – through both donations and commentary – the twitter army has responded to CA Sizemore’s horrible situation.
What I am wondering about still is where the line between our real lives is drawn. I think most of us would fall back on, in this order, face-to-face, telephone, email, IM and THEN microblogging.
Maybe the norms in our little fishbowl have changed.
May 13th, 2008 at 1:44 pm
What strange, new places we’ve arrived as a society.
May 14th, 2008 at 11:31 am
[...] (Thanks @rmoede for the links.) But, there are a few things to keep in mind to help define the line between oversharing and [...]
January 21st, 2009 at 4:49 pm
[...] conversations – a Twitter Dynamic? http://bowlofcheese.com/?p=1072, a post about how information is used and shared on Twitter. [...]